There are days that parenting is just not fun. There’s not enough coffee to get you through the day. There’s too many hours until bedtime. There are too many kids running around your house and creating chaos. This is the parenting struggle. This is life. This is the unspoken reality for many of us. Maybe we just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe we had a horrible night’s sleep. (Which is usually the case if you have kids, let’s be honest here.) Maybe we’re in a slump from the day-to-day lifestyle of forgetting who we are as ourselves and not being just “Mom” or “Dad.”
I will be the first to admit that sometimes I forget who I am as Amanda. I know (or at least, for the most part) who I am as Mom. I know what I want my kids to see and remember me as when they look back years from now at their childhood. I know how I want to look to other parents during playdates or online mom groups. But really, I don’t know who I want to be as just me. Not the mom to three kids, or the stay-at-home wife.
How do I fix this? The answer is simple, although the action of doing so may not be. Self-care. I know who I am as a mom because that’s what my mind is fixated on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I know who I am as a wife, because again, I’m acting as a wife all day, every day. Taking some time for yourself can be difficult- especially with little ones. I’ve learned that I need 15 minutes every day to make a plan for myself. This plan can be professionally, religiously, or just a plan of attack for the day. I’ve also found that trying to shower every day can totally lift my mood, make me feel better about myself, and give me some additional time away from the chaos that I call my home.
Take some time for yourself. Find 15-20 minutes where you can just be you. Take a shower during naptime, after bedtime, or while your partner is home to keep the kids out of the bathroom. Watch a show on Netflix before you go to bed. Get up a few minutes early to drink a cup of coffee or tea while it’s still hot. Lock yourself in the bathroom to pee by yourself, although be prepared for whatever mess may come with it when you get out. 😉
Remember who you are and just…. Be you.